


You're The One That I Want

by clefable4tw



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:02:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25562530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clefable4tw/pseuds/clefable4tw
Summary: The brothers argue who would be the best romantic partner. No pairings.
Kudos: 7





	You're The One That I Want

“We will take a break for now. My stories are starting!” announced Master Splinter, as he took his leave and closed the door to his chambers to watch in peace, leaving the brothers to their own devices.

“It’s that time of the day again. Do you think we should be concerned that Master Splinter interrupts our training for a soap opera?” asked Leonardo.

“Only you would be worried about that Leo. A couple hours by ourselves isn’t gonna hurt. Hey, Mikey, what are you doing?” called Raphael, as Mikey picked up the TV remote and changed the channel, in time to see the opening credits for “Eternal Hearts,” Master Splinter’s favorite soap opera.

“Look, don’t knock it till you try it, alright? I need to know whether Darla is going to reject Ramone after he cheated on her with Charlene. God, why does Darla keep going back to that guy! She deserves so much better. Someone like me!”

“How do you figure, Romeo?” asked Raphael.

“Yes, humor us. Why are you so much better than Ramone?” asked Donatello.

“I am so glad you asked, my brothers. First of all, I am a fantastic cook. Chicks dig that!”

“You cook frozen pizzas, Mikey.” countered Donatello.

“I fancy ‘em up, Donnie! Like, remember last week I put fresh pineapple on ‘em? And it’s not as easy as you think to cook a frozen pizza.”

“Maybe it would be difficult, if you couldn’t read.” Donnie retorted.

“Also, my easy going nature, which is why I’m gonna let that slide.” Mikey replied, complete with a sliding motion of his hands.

Donnie sighed. “I can’t argue that one. What else?”

“I have the best sense of humor out of all of us, hands down.” stated Mikey.

“Oh, what, this is a competition now? Then step aside. I’ll admit, you’re definitely the clown here, but we all know girls dig the bad boys, and I am clearly the bad boy here.” declared Raphael.

“That’s what happened with Darla and Ramone, and look what happened to her! Everyone knows, bad boy equals heartbreaker.” replied Mickey.

“I personally think I am the best choice here. Ladies want a handyman, I can fix anything, with limited supplies, I might add.” boasted Donatello.

“Ahem, I think you meant to say mad scientist, Don.” retorted Raphael.

“Yeah, and when you’ve got a project started, you tune everyone and everything out. Your girl would be heartbroken, Dude. Same to you Raph, she’d be jealous of your bike, and she’d be looking at me with a whole new appreciation.

“That is sacred. The relationship between a man and his bike is sacred. You can’t expect a man to give up his bike!” said Raphael, indignantly.

“You’ve been quiet Leo, what about you?” asked Donatello.

“Huh? What about me?” said Leo, who had been practicing katas off to the side.

“No dice, Bro. Dude loves his swords more than anything. I think he may actually love his swords more than he loves us.” said Mikey.

“What? That is so not true! I love my swords more than you- Wait! - I mean I love you guys more than my swords!” said Leonardo, though he had to fight to be heard over the raucous laughter of his brothers.

“Freudian slip, Bro.” said Donatello, after they had calmed down.

“I cannot tell a lie, I did cut down that cherry tree!” said Mickey, in a stately voice.

“And I love my swords more than you.” finished Raphael, in his typical accent.

“Oh, great.” said Leo, shaking his head. “You guys are never going to let me live that down.”

“So, Leo gets points for honesty, at least.” continued Donnie, still amused.

“Well, now I want to know what happens with Darla too. Go cook us some microwave popcorn, Top Chef.” commanded Raphael.

“My pleasure, I’m gonna add cinnamon and sugar to it. Delicious, Dudes! You’ll see.” assured Mickey.

“That does sound pretty good, actually.” replied Leo, as they settled down to watch.

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to confess that I fancy up frozen pizzas.
> 
> Also, for anyone confused by the Cherry Tree line, it is referencing a made up story about America's first president George Washington, where he was playing with a hatchet and accidentally made a cut in his father's cherry tree. When his father confronted him about it, he told the truth, and his father was impressed by his honesty.


End file.
